The world is at your mercy.
You are the creator of everything you see, hear, experience. The world conforms to your thoughts and feelings. It’s a reflection of what you are. Every day you give birth to the world.
Of course, there isn’t just one world but billions of worlds with similarities and differences. In some places they intersect, in others they diverge.
The world seems very real. But it isn’t. It’s just a dream. It’s bendable and changeable. Even the past is pure potentiality.
Perceiving the world as a non-fixed entity goes against what we like to call common sense. But even science is starting to view the observable (and unobservable) universe this way (quantum theory, string theory, M-theory; videos below. The first one is super crammed and super fast).
Still it goes against what we think we know about the world and what we observe in our daily life. Even though quantum theory is almost 100 years old it hasn’t shaped our world view yet.
It was quite stunning when I first experienced how fluctuating reality really is. I saw how things, people and circumstances could change instantly. Things appeared and disappeared. There seemed to be a pattern, though, weaved with my intentions, thoughts and feelings.
I eventually learned that I could control what happened. In fact, I had been controlling it all along I just didn’t know I did, much less how I did it.
The difficult thing was to figure out how to do it consciously. Some areas were easier to command than others. Sometimes “reality” seemed stubbornly real and impossible to change. Sometimes I felt like a victim of circumstances.
Then I would react to those circumstances and as soon as that happened I had lost all control. I felt like I was at the mercy of the world and not at all the other way around.
Then gradually I learned to not react to what happened. I learned to watch myself instead of fighting reality. I began to observe myself and the world. That’s when reality forever lost its status as being what I used to call real.
Creation takes no effort at all and this is where we humans have a problem. We are so used to working hard that we overlook how easy it can be. The subtlety of creation is lost in effort.
I’m sure that everyone has experienced how flexible reality is at one time or another. But it’s often explained away or ignored because it doesn’t fit with our worldview.
Some people seem to have a natural gift for commanding reality without being aware of how they do it. The absolute joy, however, is to create consciously.
I’m still learning how to use my magic wand... Just joking; there is really nothing magic about it. It’s just the way we are, the way the universe is.
Of course the dream of controlling the world for our own pleasure is just as unreal as the world. It’s also a passing phase.
The real adventure begins when you are ready to give up all desire to control the world.
Watch the videos if you are interested in the scientific theories I mentioned above. The first video is extremely crammed and fast. The other one a little slower.
Life introduced me to pain.
Pain, this is Charlotte
Charlotte, this is Pain
While Pain was eager to meet me I had no desire to become friends with her. I wanted to get as far away from her as I could. But she kept pursuing me.
She would never give a reason for her interest in me. I tried to come up with my own theories but she just shrugged and kept seeking my friendship.
A while ago I finally said to her: “Okay, then. Let’s be friends. Welcome to my world. Sit down at my table. Show me your real face. Tell me what you believe in, what your dreams are. She didn’t like that one bit. She soon got up and left.
It looks like she finally lost interest in me.
Yes, I too have met the nameless pain that mercilessly toys with us. It catches us when we are unguarded. It controls us and maintains its power by keeping us in the dark about its true meaning. The feeling it most resembles is fear, vague but threatening.
It often appears without a reason. It’s hard to accept suffering without a cause and so we try to deny it. That doesn’t stop it. It just finds new ways to articulate itself. One of its favorite methods is to stir something up in our outer life that can’t be ignored.
As if saying: “I’m here. Deal with it.”
I have tried to come to terms with this mysterious suffering. I have tried to explain it. I have tried to fix it. I have tried to deny it. I have seen it play out in my life.
It’s still a mystery. But it’s getting clearer.
I have come to understand that somehow it’s linked to the very essence of my being. I can’t divorce, deny or delete it. I can only deal with it. Ugh!! I can deal with it in its nameless state or I can deal with it when it plays out in life events.
It’s usually a little easier to deal with its manifestation in life events. At least it gives us something to focus on, something to do.
It can take pretty nasty turns though, and the initial problem can create a host of sister problems if we don’t realize that it’s not really about what is happening on the outside.
It’s very common that it plays out in our relationships; our most vulnerable point.
The nameless form of this suffering is rarely talked about. What is there to say? There are no explanations and no obvious reasons for it. It is so intimately linked to who we are that it’s almost impossible to let anyone else in. We hardly let ourselves in. It’s an extremely vulnerable place. Or so I once thought.
Now I see it as a place of pure power.
I think perhaps that there are many who don’t even like to admit that this pain exists. It seems so irrational. So when life runs smoothly it’s often buried under layers of denial or numbed out by a wide variety of methods.
At any given moment we can choose how to deal with the pain: deny, numb or face it. Only by facing it can it be transcended.
We might not face it very elegantly the first few times but with perseverance it is possible. Courage is also needed.
So what is the true cause of this pain?
Is it the pain of having a body that limits us in time and space?
Is it the wound where we were separated from God at birth?
Is it a symptom of our separation from our true Selves?
Is it really a way to find out who we are?
I mean, WHAT IS IT? And, more importantly, how do we put an end to it?
For me this pain has been impossible to deny since I was very young. I could suppress it but I could never deny it.
It was there. Like a roadblock.
I tried to deal with it the best I could, which wasn’t very good at all. I was painfully aware that in me existed a pain that couldn’t be explained.
I saw it in others too, mostly in the form of painful relationships. I saw it in the painful choices people made and in my own painful choices. I saw it underlie all existence, on a wider scale as well; in natural disasters, war, poverty, disease, death.
It can take time to get to the bottom of suffering. Actually, there is no real bottom. What you might think is the bottom or end of it is really an opening.
Over the years I have come to realize, feel and experience, that at the bottom of this suffering there is unfathomable joy and lightness. Intense energy and joy. Peace and freedom. Beauty and meaning. Our very essence.
It's an opening into oneness, a rebirth of innocence, liberation, salvation, freedom. There are many names.
I’m beginning to think that this suffering is a direct road to Self-realization, love, truth and freedom. But it’s a thorny path and there is no one there to guide you but yourself. You’ll get a little support here and there but it’s essentially your own journey. We don’t really want help anyway. We want to do it on our own. Which is completely right because no one else has your unique experiences.
No one can tell you what you need.
I still experience life’s little tricks and games. But the difference is that I now always see it for what it is. I’m not swayed by it anymore. I know it’s not that real so I don’t fight it. I know it’s just showing me the way. It’s just there to make me understand that I have to look inside for answers. All I have to do is to remember that the drama is my own construction, for my own benefit. And when I remember – magic happens.
At the bottom of suffering lies its dissolution. The dissolution of suffering is the gateway to freedom. The journey is endless, mysterious, sublime...
Charlotte Brady about love, life, freedom and abiding in the heart every moment of the day. This is where flesh is spirit and spirit flesh in raw unadulterated devotion. Life is worship!
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