Some things you can’t have. It makes you angry. Especially when others get what you wanted. You throw a tantrum, you choose something else instead. You convince yourself that this is better, that this is what you really wanted. You discover then it doesn’t taste that good. You want another candy. But then the store is closed and you are all alone.
There is no more play or candy. You are alone but you refuse to be. You hold on to what you want, you cry for it, you lament your loneliness. You want anything but to be alone, anything but to look inside yourself.
For this child there is no delight because s/he hasn’t visited the other candy store, the one around the block. That candy store is always open and never runs out of anything. It is constantly replenished and you can have it all. But then you hesitate because you’re not quite sure. The other candy store seems much more real and besides you know exactly what to expect. Everyone else does, too, and they corroborate your theories. Confusion reigns but also now, the feeling that it just might be true.
To be continued.