You know, bad news of some kind, an unpleasant encounter with another human being. Tiredness. Fear. Disappointment.
And love was all gone. Poff!
How do I remain in the center of myself without habitually reacting in the same old patterns? How do I stay in that love even when everything and everyone seems to be against me and my precious peace?
The simple answer is: nothing is against me, never has been, never will be. Nothing is against you either. Life happens. We react to it. The good news is, we can change our reaction.
I probably wouldn’t have agreed to that at all a few years back. Then it was obvious that things were against me and/or that others had treated me badly in one way or another. It’s not like that anymore.
Many things changed. Definitely not overnight. I didn’t follow any direction except from the inside. That took some time to establish. So exactly how do you do it? Well, now to the part that might make you stop reading:
There are no simple answers! Except the simple one above that nothing is wrong. But that doesn’t show you HOW to do it and as such it’s pretty worthless. Worthless until you are firmly established in your heart, centered in yourself. Then it makes sense. Until then it’s just an abstract idea.
No matter what anyone will tell you, there are no quick fixes. There aren’t even any methods. There are no How-to that fits everyone. The only thing anyone can do is to share how they did it and maybe someone out there will feel it speaks to them, too.
Here’s a little bit of how I did it.
First of all I made a decision that I wanted change no matter what. That is a vulnerable but necessary position. From there you allow change to happen.
From there I started walking, one step after another. Here are some brief hints about my path:
My path is LOVE. Growing love, difficult love, painful love, glorious love, exquisite love, comforting love, passionate love, flowing love, all encompassing love, transcendental love. My feeling of love, or lack thereof, is my greatest teacher.
My path is ACCEPTANCE. Acceptance of mistakes, failures, weaknesses. Acceptance of being unique and deeply loved for who you are. Acceptance of all others.
My path is RESPECT. Respect of all your deepest needs. Respect of others’ deepest needs.
My path is HONESTY. To be honest with yourself, with what you feel and want. Being honest with others is part of being honest with yourself. This takes a lot of courage.
My path is PATIENCE. Patience to continue walking in confusion, stormy weather, when you don’t know where you’re going. You continue walking because you know you can’t return to where you were. This requires the greatest courage. So much courage that all your energy is required.
My path is SURRENDER. Surrender to who you are, to your life, to God. This is beautiful and supremely easy. It’s easy because it’s nothing you can make happen. It will happen for you – when you are ready. But you can make yourself available for it.
Many people don’t want to change old patterns. Perhaps because it’s old and familiar. That is absolutely fine. Everyone gets to choose what they want. If you still are reading this you are most likely not one of them. But you will still meet many of them in your life. It’s best to just peacefully disregard. Let it be.
When you start out you are not going to be able to stay in bliss for extended periods of time. And you are not supposed to! You are supposed to integrate and see who you are. That often takes some time and some suffering. Your old defenses and structures most often wont leave without making themselves heard.
I won’t lie. It can be painful. This is where many people give up. They don’t realize that they are making enormous progress. They just feel the pain. Maybe they had grown in honesty and people around them didn’t like it. If you are honest with who you are it forces others to be honest with who they are. People who are not ready for this are NOT going to like that.
Keep walking. Persevere. Get up when you fall. Keep trying.
Little by little you’ll discover that you can keep standing in the storm. That wherever you are seems to be the eye of the storm. You stop falling down. You become aware of your reactions. You then stop reacting and start responding. You begin to see yourself with enormous clarity. Not only yourself but others as well.
Your heart starts to swell and soften, any obstructions melt away. Your love flows freely to everyone. Regardless if they deserve it or not.
Now love sticks to you like a magnet, you are in it, of it, for it, by it. It’s also spelled F-R-E-E-D-O-M. It’s breathtakingly beautiful and worth every step of the way.
Love always. Listen to your heart. It will tell you everything you need to know. Everything. Don’t doubt it.