I relied on my beloved, dead masters Nisargadatta Maharaj and Ramana Maharshi. A new book, insight, meeting was presented to me as I needed it. I always felt that I was guided by some invisible force even though I often felt lost. Everything happened, and keeps happening, at the right time. Everything made perfect sense even if it seemed senseless. I made tons of mistakes. For a long time I was entangled in the everyday life drama with husband, kids, family and friends.
I am still with them of course but the big difference now is that there is no drama. There is enjoyment, observation, awareness, understanding, acceptance, love. I changed all my habitual patterns of reaction and control. I'm happy with what I have and happy with who I am. Not because I got everything I wanted and became everything I wanted to be but because I stopped running after. Then the world came to me.
I occasionally loose my footing but it is perfect as it is. To loose one’s footing always carries great significance.
How did I make it here? I thought back and saw my path had been very zigzag. I asked myself exactly what steps I had taken and started to jot down some words. Before I knew it I had created a program that reflected my path, only straighter! Very simple. Nothing fancy. But powerful and deeply helpful. It is the program that I wish I had had.
It’s not really a spiritual program, all though that is where I am myself now. It helps you find inside what was always there, your capacity for joy and freedom, your capacity for harmony and peace. But if you are so inclined it also works perfectly as a preparation for high adventure. To me, spirituality is being firmly grounded in your body and firmly planted on this Earth. It is in your relationships and in the love you spread. It is in knowing who you are, embracing and expressing it. It is in being free to be what is only you.