Sometimes people look up from the pile of shoulds and ask themselves why?
Why do I have to be good looking, thin, wealthy, active, successful, social etc?
Sometimes these questions lead to real change and you start making new priorities. That’s great!
But the funny thing is that very often those shoulds don’t go away. They just take on another form. Sometimes it gets even worse than it was before.
Before, you knew you weren’t perfect but now that you have turned your life around you think you must be perfect. After all you made lots of great changes and now you have to show people that you are not the same anymore.
But sometimes the alternative support you may have found isn’t as solid as it looks. The other day I read a spiritual leader that said: “Your life should be blissful and sparkling. It should not just be okay.”
I made me angry. It’s probably meant to encourage people to look within but most people will only hear that they are expected to be blissful.
From there it’s easy to start thinking: “Am I blissful enough? Is my life really sparkling? Gosh, what if my life is just okay? I should…”
Here we go again.
I don’t have anything against a sparkling, blissful life. It sure sounds wonderful. But I also don’t have any thing against an okay life. What’s wrong with that? The demand that life has to be extraordinary is not helping anyone be happy. Human life will ALWAYS consist of ups and downs. When there are no more ups and downs you have to check –because you might be dead.
Here are a few example of shoulds that spiritual people put on themselves:
I should be blissful. I should only feel happy feelings. I should never be angry. I should shine from within. I should always be forgiving. I should be a good example. I should be a vegetarian. I should not drink alcohol. I should only eat very healthy food. I should do yoga or some other spiritual exercise. I should at least be thin and look like I do yoga. I should meditate every day. I should be enlightened. I should be good at being spiritual. I should be more spiritual than my neighbor.
The saddest part is when people feel they can live up to all of that and they start to pretend! Then everything is lost. It’s better to be an honest failure than a fake success.
But speaking in terms of failure and success is really old world. Don’t bring it with you into the new!
Seriously, people. Just be. Don’t fall for the spiritual shoulds. Be as you ARE! You are absolutely wonderful the way you are, warts and all. Don’t try to be perfect. Just try to be the way you are. Just try.
You are human and you are amazing.