“Life as it is should be enough of a reason to laugh. It is so absurd, it is so ridiculous. It is so beautiful... it is so wonderful. It is all sorts of things together. It is a great cosmic joke.” - Osho

I’ve collected and created some jokes (including a horribly failed one!) about yogis and non-duality. Warm up your smiling muscles, prepare to laugh!

Ok, here we go:

A holy man was sitting in the middle of the street, meditating. A taxi driver slams on the breaks and yells out to the man:
Have you lost your mind!?
The holy man replies:
Yes.

What did the yogi tell the vacuum cleaner salesperson? 

"I don’t want this one. It comes with too many attachments." 

Why couldn’t the yogi vacuum in the corners?
Because he didn’t have any attachments.

Are Buddhists monks allowed to send emails?
Yes, but they cannot send emails with attachments.

Oh, no! My karma ran over your dogma.... 

A Zen master received a gift for her birthday.
She opened the big gift box. It was empty.
“Nothing!” she exclamied, “just what I always wanted.”

A moment later a young nun knocked on her door:
(Knock, knock.)
Who’s there?
No one.

I think I will make this one into a sign and put on my wall:
       Procrastinate now! Don’t wait until tomorrow.

A yogi orders a pizza at the local pizza place:
"Make me one with everything."



Watch how terribly wrong it can go when you try to tell that joke to the Dalai Lama!

To continue the joke:

When the yogi got the pizza, he paid with a $20 bill. 
The proprietor pocketed the bill. 
Yogi: "I need some change."


The proprietor: "All change comes from within.”

I’ll sum up with another Osho quote:

“Nobody lives, nobody dies. Nothingness lives, nothingness dies. You are not. Have a good laugh at this situation. You are not and you exist. You are not and you are. This is the cosmic joke.”



So here’s to all the masters out there:

How many non-dualist masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Four.
One to screw it in.

One to not screw it in.

One to both screw it in and not screw it in.

One to neither screw it in nor not screw it in.

Hey, that’s a lot of screwing around. 

Have a happy day!

Of course my path wasn’t as clear-cut as it may appear in summing up and communicating it. It was no cookie cutter path. It was messy and it went beyond all I knew. In the valleys I didn’t know where I was but on the peaks I was invincible. I was lifted off the ground and my whole body vibrated with love. The world retained some of its gravitation. I'm still here!

I relied on my beloved, dead masters Nisargadatta Maharaj and Ramana Maharshi. A new book, insight, meeting was presented to me as I needed it. I always felt that I was guided by some invisible force even though I often felt lost. Everything happened, and keeps happening, at the right time. Everything made perfect sense even if it seemed senseless. I made tons of mistakes. For a long time I was entangled in the everyday life drama with husband, kids, family and friends.

I am still with them of course but the big difference now is that there is no drama. There is enjoyment, observation, awareness, understanding, acceptance, love. I changed all my habitual patterns of reaction and control. I'm happy with what I have and happy with who I am. Not because I got everything I wanted and became everything I wanted to be but because I stopped running after. Then the world came to me.

I occasionally loose my footing but it is perfect as it is. To loose one’s footing always carries great significance.

How did I make it here? I thought back and saw my path had been very zigzag. I asked myself exactly what steps I had taken and started to jot down some words. Before I knew it I had created a program that reflected my path, only straighter! Very simple. Nothing fancy. But powerful and deeply helpful. It is the program that I wish I had had.

It’s not really a spiritual program, all though that is where I am myself now. It helps you find inside what was always there, your capacity for joy and freedom, your capacity for harmony and peace. But if you are so inclined it also works perfectly as a preparation for high adventure. To me, spirituality is being firmly grounded in your body and firmly planted on this Earth. It is in your relationships and in the love you spread. It is in knowing who you are, embracing and expressing it. It is in being free to be what is only you.