​Good morning, world. I see you still exist. Have I mentioned I love you? Even though you are crazy and imperfect I adore that you exist. Every corner of you, with its own unique imperfection – I love. Every corner of you, with its own unique beauty – I love.
 
Good morning, world. Thank you for including me in your eternal evolution. Every day I am privileged to observe your whimsy. I think of the billion minds that were created to be a part of you. Each one of them believing they are separate from you. Each carving out their life space in whatever way they can. Each tasting sorrow at any moment. 
 
Good morning, world. How foolishly we behave. We throw diamonds in the trash because we don’t know anything of worth. We hold on to what will die and avoid what is eternal. We kill and we are killed. When did we forget that we were chosen? How can we learn of that worth, which is the very reason for our lives?

Don’t be at war with your body. Don’t be at war with your mind. Don’t be at war with your feelings. Don’t be at war with others. Don’t be at war with the world.

Give divine gratitude for having been awarded a body. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Do you realize how rare  it is to have a human body? It’s the greatest prize of all.

You could have been a mosquito or a shrimp. Instead you get to experience the world with knowledge and evaluation of that knowledge.

You have a human body on a tiny planet in this endless universe.

 Wow. That stops every silliness right there.

From that perspective take a look at yourself and your so called struggles. Take a look at the world and its so called struggles. Doesn’t it seem insane that we should be wasting this precious gift with condemnation, hatred, entitlement, fear? That we should be wasting it on fights about who is right, more right, less right, most wrong?

Wouldn’t it make more sense to celebrate every single day? To celebrate yourself and other beings in other bodies?

We get to be here! Lets’ not waste it. Not wasting it doesn’t mean you have to do a gazillion things to fix it all. Everything is not on your shoulders. The world will change when enough people in it has changed. How can any one person make that come about?

Ignorance isn’t necessarily dispelled by facts, as you know. Facts are easy to dispute, especially when they don’t match our beliefs. (Everybody does this, not just “others”). Change comes from within. Change comes when we remember that we are human and divine in equal parts, when we remember that life is an enormous gift. When you know this you don’t have to rely on beliefs or opinions for anything.

The greatest contribution you can give to the world is to make that shift in you. Outer change will follow.

Not wasting your life simply means to know, and always remember, how amazing it is to have been given life in the form of a human body.

The secret to happiness is to always, always remember this. 

Meditation is the easiest thing in the world, anyone can do it. If you can sit you can meditate. If you exist you can meditate! Meditation is just being. It’s ignoring anything that is not essential for you to know that you exist.

Meditation is experiencing your own beingness. That’s all. It’s a beautiful experience. Full of joy and freedom. In the beginning it's a temporary relief from anything that has ever bugged you.

I say temporary, but if you meditate regularly the bugs will drop away by themselves.

At first it can be hard to be still. The mind rebels. Then let it! Just observe what it does, how it’s trying to make you stop. The mind is extremely creative in trying to make you not meditate. I have no idea why. Actually, I know why. It’s because meditation shows the mind that it is not as almighty as it likes to think. There is another part of you that is far more powerful.

The part that is what you essentially ARE. The part that has nothing to do with any preferences or personality you may have. (I know, we have all learned that having a great personality is something to strive for. It can be. As long as you know that it's not you.)

Meditation gives you profound relaxation. It can also give you profound insights that will be sort of downloaded to your mind.

The first step of meditation is just trying to find your core. The second step is to experience that core and the third step is to live in that core always. This process can take years. But it’s not the goal that counts. It’s the search. The search never stops. 

The sincerity of the search is everything.

A few years ago I used to have a very regular meditation practice. I was at stage two and was deeply experiencing my core. Nothing could disturb me. I was fully aware of my surroundings but also fully absorbed in my core. My kids were then around five and sometimes one of them used to come up to me and sit on my lap. They just sat there in silence, completely still, before running off to do more interesting things. It was as if they naturally tapped into my state. Those moments were intensely powerful, loving and sweet. They enhanced my meditation.

Other times they were more mischievous and would start poking me, pulling my arms or opening my eyelids. I just let them play with my meditating body, still in deep absorption. They soon got tired of teasing me and I felt as loving as when they were sitting in silence. 

Meditation is not about being “gone”. It’s about being fully aware. So aware that there is nothing between you and your core. No words, no thoughts, no disturbing feelings. Just pure beingness, pure love, pure freedom - which is also a way of describing your core. I have no need to disappear into some oblivion. I remain in pure presence, fully open to the world. I love it when people talk to me while I meditate. Sometimes I even answer! :-D 

These days I just flow in and out of meditation constantly. Almost anything can evoke a deep meditative state, two minutes and I'm in it. I’m always with my core, fully experiencing everything life throws my way; fully experiencing myself experiencing life. That way almost anything becomes interesting. Even boredom. 

Another thing that meditation brings: you don't react anymore. You act. Automatic reaction is the hallmark of the smaller you. Deliberate action, or non-action, is the hallmark of the wiser you. Life just becomes easier, less complication.

Try a short, guided meditation below. It's just over six minutes long. You can use it as a short relaxation meditation or you can use it as a start to a longer meditation on your own. Remember, meditation is just sitting. It's being with what is. 

You might also be interested in reading a related blog post about breathing here and/or listen to a guided breathing exercise here. 

Tips for setting up a meditation practice:

• Choose a time and a place when you will not be disturbed (needed in the beginning)
  
• Sit or lie down in a position you can maintain for a while. Don't lie down if you have a tendency to fall asleep. No need for any particular position.
• Use a timer, set it for five minutes. (Set the bar low!) When you can meditate for five minutes, add five more gradually until you reach about 30 minutes. 
• Don't fight your mind. Let it rebel while you watch it rebel and squirm. It will eventually get used to you being the boss.
• If it's impossible to still your mind from thoughts you can count your breaths, 1-5, and then start over again. Focusing on your breath in different ways is an excellent way of mastering a rebellious mind. 
• You can also use a mantra; any word or words that make you feel good. 
• Only use counting and mantra when you need it. The goal is to just sit and be. Sounds easy, right? With practice it will be. 
• Try to meditate as regularly as possible. The same time every day is ideal. 

Live fully, love fully, grieve fully. There is no cure for the human condition. Don’t try to fix anything. Don’t try to get a certain outcome. There is no cure for the human condition. Accept things as they are. Accept others as they are. There is no cure for the human condition. Know that aversion is always attached to desire as two sides of the same coin. Do what you must but remember that everything is just a game.  

Don’t try to be perfect. Don’t expect others to be perfect. Don’t try to make them perfect. There is no cure for the human condition. Remember that you can loose everything in an instant. What does it matter then if it wasn’t perfect? You will still want it back. You will then understand how you couldn’t separate perfection from your own ideas about it. Perfection isn’t personal. Perfection always contains imperfection. There is no cure for the human condition. 

What is achievement? What is success? Why do you worry about it? All you can do is to be as you are. Suffer the consequences of what you are. Live as you are. Love as you are. Grieve as you are. There is no cure for the human condition. 

Be as you are and do what you do. Not until you are prepared to suffer the consequences of what you are will you get a glimpse of what is beyond the human condition. Not until you are prepared to suffer the consequences of what others are will you get a glimpse of what is beyond the human condition.

Most people choose to fight the consequences instead of accepting them. They think they are struggling for freedom, happiness, love, peace. But in that fight all is lost and they just suffer.

It is difficult to figure out what suffering the consequences of what you are really means. I can’t help you with this. You have to figure it out on your own. It’s different for everyone. All I can say is that it’s worth it.

Don’t look for a reward although a reward will come. Focusing on the reward means that you are not prepared to live the consequences. The whole New Age movement but also many religions have stopped at focusing on the reward, on getting what you want. If you do, nothing will ever happen and you will just go on suffering. Nothing that you want will have much meaning. You may not even know what it is that you want.

It is not easy to suffer the consequences of what you are. You have to give up all your ideas of how things should be and of how things really are. That brings fear and you don’t want fear. But if you are ready you know that there is no alternative. You have already tried it all and it didn’t work. 

The more you suffer the consequences of what you are the more you are able to love, the deeper into life you fall, the closer to God, or existence, you are. You will “improve” automatically but by then improvement has lost its meaning since improvement is just a way of avoiding the consequences of what you really are. 

The more you are able to suffer the consequences the truer to yourself you are, the more peace and freedom you have. But don’t look for the reward. Just watch your human condition. Be as you are. Be. As. You. Are.

Is there really nothing I can say that will make you understand how amazing you are? I mean, just the fact that you were born is a miracle. You are you. There is no other human like you and there never will be. You are you. Free, powerful, magnificent.

Okay, things were a little rough ever since you got a body. There were hurts, disappointments, anger. You learned things about yourself that weren’t true. You learned you aren’t good enough, your learned that you don’t deserve this or that and you thought that others were so much better or fulfilled or whatever. 

Or at least they had what you didn’t have. You constantly compared yourself to them, sometimes to your advantage and sometimes to you disadvantage. You desperately tried to hold on to the more advantageous comparison.

You often felt lack – a big, gaping whole of something missing. You tried to fill it with different things. Some were good and some were not so good. You developed addictions to things, people, experiences. You developed habits that helped you keep on track but that also, in the end, became obstacles.

There were good things too, of course. So many exhilarating things happened to you and those you loved. It made life bearable and also believable.

You developed a lot of opinions about yourself and the world. You liked your opinions and felt they were right. You felt your opinions defined you and made you who you are.You congregated with people who had the same opinions as you Others with different opinions were wrong. Sometimes you tried to convince them that they were wrong. They never changed and nor did you. You were often angry.

You also felt hopeless. The world was bad and you wanted to save it. The world didn’t show any signs of wanting to be saved and you felt even more helpless. You tried to be good and useful. You tried not to be a failure. Sometime you were so convinced of your own virtues that others became sick of you. Other times you were so convinced of your own uselessness that everything felt meaningless. 

Sometimes others said you were good. You wanted to believe them. One part of you believed them another part didn’t . You had learned to trust the outside/others more than the inside/yourself so you never understood or believed your natural goodness. You felt you couldn’t be happy if others were unhappy. You were convinced those feelings were noble. You worked for others’ happiness so that you, eventually, could be happy.

Or: you had never stopped to think of others’ needs and wants. Your own desires were always more important, your own personal dramas more real than distant wars and famines. You were preoccupied with the maintenance of your body and its relationships.

You felt your life had to have certain elements, otherwise you couldn’t be happy. You looked around at what others did. You tried to value what they valued. Their acceptance became what you thought was your happiness. It didn’t matter that it was fickle. It didn’t matter that you settled for powerlessness. All you cared about was having a place and a function. And you suffered. And you cried and you wished for things to be different.

But you never trusted yourself. You never saw yourself  for who you are. You never even dared to ask “who am I?” with the intent of finding out exactly what you are. You never dared to be still because then everything welled up and you had to put the lid back on.

 You were afraid. And then you felt stillness and it was wonderful and then you forgot and forgot again when life got in the way. You didn’t remember your own, free unquestionable magnificence. You kept forgetting about yourself and who you are.  

Everything I write on this blog is first hand experience.. I decided early on that every word I publish here has to come from my own experience, from my heart. I have had many teachers in many shapes and forms. I am grateful for what they have taught me and for my heart remaining open in even the most difficult expereince.

It’s not my job to create theories or state “truths”. Truth is. Nothing needs to be said about that. It’s my job to convey experience, to inspire others to investigate for themselves. Don’t believe me. Test me! I write what I know and not what I have heard.

But now that I’m writing about death I sidestep that vow. I’m obviously not dead. I have never died. I have never had a near death experience, and I am not immediately dying.

My only experience with death his that of a close friend who died and second (or third?) hand experiences from others who have lost loved ones.

Technically we are all dying. We all go towards death every single moment. It’s just that some of us can maintain the illusion that our lives will go on in eternity while others cannot. If you are dying from a disease – how can you fool yourself? You will have to face your mortality. You will have to face that you are soon stepping into the unknown and most likely (this is a guess) you will quickly learn what is important in life.

Most likely you will learn a lot about life in death. Much more than others who are not aware of death and dying. Death teaches about life. Death teaches about love.

While you live in good health it’s fairly easy to pretend, or forget..This plays in well with our habit of taking everything for granted. I take my health for granted, my loved ones’ health for granted, my lifestyle for granted etc. And we keep on running towards goals that we think will make us happy.

When the only moment for happiness is now.  Not later, not before, but now.

We take life for granted and we take all the wonders of this world for granted. If you stop and think about a seed, for example, if you really go deep into it – how can you not be blown away? If you think about a sperm and an egg merging and creating a new life – how can you not be completely dumbfounded? When you think about that you get to experience this universe from an earthly perspective – when it would be much more likely for you to not exist AT ALL - - -

We are so tiny. You could have been stardust instead. But you are a human being on planet Earth. You have a heart and a brain. You can move around independently.

We desperately want to make ourselves bigger by becoming something, being ”something”. And forget that it is in just BEING that we are immeasurable. We run away from our mortality when we could sit down and invite it, when we could let it teach us about all the wonders of the world, about love and meaning.

I have chosen to live in wonder. I have chosen to see all these little small things in my life. It has led to a life that is so full of beauty and wonder that I sometimes just melt and explode at the same time. How the sunshine touches a leaf, eye contact with a stranger, the blueness of the sky, the wildness of my feelings, and even the sorrows of my life. They have their own special beauty.

In choosing wonder you will sooner or later have to face your mortality and your deepest fears. Or rather, the other way around: In facing your mortality you come to live in wonder. This facing is not pretty. True. But you will go through it and in doing that you will learn something about life and love.

Life and death are inseparable. Desire itself is life. Blind desire for something is running away. Pure desire is a blessing. Pure desire is surrender, love, God.

When I think about my own death I feel that it will be a blessing if I am allowed to die with awareness. I hope that I won’t die in my sleep. Just like I gave birth to a new life in full awareness I want to die in full awareness. Of course, if I get very sick and suffer extremely I might change that wish. I don’t know. But if you take away physical suffering, I wish that I can die slowly and with full awareness.

I have come to believe that dying can be a beautiful experience. I have come to believe that if you face all your fears while living, dying will be easier. The transition from life to death will be smoother. Because your fear is your resistance and resistance always creates suffering. You might be right in your resistance, death might be unfair, but at this point right and wrong is irrelevant. Even fairness is irrelevant here. That hurts of course. But the sooner you can let it go the closer you will be to love.

Dying is of extreme significance. If you live your life in unawareness you will die in unawareness. That seems to me the biggest and saddest waste. I have noticed, by experience, that when people die they leave a gift to the living. It is your choice to accept it or not. The most obvious gift is the heart opening in the middle of grief that I have seen time and time again. The dead teach us to love one another. Death opens up for love among the living.

Apart from that there is a myriad of other gifts that will be unique for you. A relationship with a dead person never ceases. Just like any relationship it grows and changes and deepens. This too is a beautiful gift. 

You are so endlessly loved and embraced.

Three thoughts I recently posted on Facebook:

How people view me doesn’t change who I am. If they view me favorably and it’s not true, I know it’s a lie. Perhaps I can fool others but how can I fool myself? If they view me unfavorably and it’s not true, I also know it’s a lie. It won’t change who I am and it can never - ever - touch me. So why be concerned with what others think? It’s really beside the point. Why would you believe others more than yourself? Live like that and you will never be offended by anything or anyone.

Same thought with a slightly different angle: If people view me favorably and it’s not true, I know it’s a lie. But if their perception of me is flattering, I might delude myself into thinking it’s true. I’m then living a lie and will constantly need others confirmation of my greatness. I'm using others to create a self-image I’m happy with. If people view me unfavorably and it’s not true, I also know it’s a lie. But likewise I might convince myself that they are right - and I’d be living a lie. I have then used others to create a self-image I’m unhappy with. Know thyself! (and be true to you)

I’m grateful to everyone I meet. Especially the ones that rub me the wrong way. They are my most important teachers. They show me exactly which way I have to go. All I have to do is to be attentive and not to fall into the trap. To be attentive is to know exactly what mechanisms they evoke in me, what the consequences are and how not to fall. The trap is fear, anger, and blame. Then all is lost and nothing gained. But life will give endless chances to try again, and again, until you learn to break the cycle.


And then I added:

This doesn’t mean that you should fake gratefulness and suppress your angry feelings with a smile. It means that you take responsibility for what you feel and really feel it as you try to understand what happens in you. But it also means not to act while you are under the sway of your emotions. If you need to speak your mind, do it afterwards when you are calm and clear.

If you do this consistently and patiently your discoveries will be nothing short of miraculous. 

I am. I know I am. There is no need to say I am this or that.  The feeling of “I am” is free of characteristics. It doesn’t matter if you are a king or a clerk. The feeling of “I am” is the same for all. Established in beingness you are always happy and free.

The person, on the other hand, has a lot of conditions for its happiness. Things have to be in a certain way: “The world must make me happy.” The question Who am I? is answered by a set of characteristics that must be acceptable, and preferably flattering, to the person.

Each person has a different set of conditions for happiness. “I can ONLY be happy if such and such is present in my life.” “I can NEVER be happy if such and such is in my life.”

Sadly, the conditions that the person has set for happiness often remains even after s/he has embarked on a spiritual journey. The person is still in a state of want and s/he still thinks that certain conditions apply for her happiness. 

But instead of the world making the person happy s/he has now made it God’s job. S/he starts to bargain: “Dear God, I will do this if you do that.”

When it became clear to me how deviously ignorance infiltrates spirituality I wanted nothing to do with it. Spirituality is the safest haven for ignorance to grow. It can go on undetected after taking on this protective shield,  It can continue as usual in the person, now under the perfect camouflage of being “good” and, of course, “right.”

So for me there is no spirituality anymore. I don’t want to encourage ignorance in any way. I don’t want to deal with unnecessary concepts. I want to entertain less concepts and not more. Concepts imprison. The more concepts you entertain the more difficult it is to see beyond them and into the soul.

There is only life anyway. Why complicate? I don’t need anything to meet God.

The world will give you a mixed bag of sweet and bitter. But there is a part of you that is always in peace. (Hint: the I am.) Find that place and stay there as much and as often as you can.

You were given life without any conditions. It was handed to you in blind trust. Now you must show the same blind trust in how you live your life.  Trust that the same force that gave you life knows how to take care of you.

I have started about five different blog posts the last week but stopped after a few lines. I don’t have much to say anymore. There is so little to talk about.

There is no truth that will set us free. There is no method that will tell us how to live. Spirituality is not separate from daily life. Spirituality is life. Life is spiritual and I have no clue about life. I know absolutely nothing.

I don’t even understand myself so how can I know anything about life? I don’t know what is going on inside my body and I don’t know what my subconscious is up to. I can only observe and ponder.

I try to be as honest with myself as I can. At least I try not to lie to myself. But even that is difficult because I can’t always separate my own inner truth from expectations and wants created from the outside.

I don’t follow any particular disciplines. No particular diet, no particular exercise, no particular time for meditation. The only discipline I follow is to try to make my kids laugh every day. I try to listen to them and see them. They are my best teachers.

I just live and let it all flow, fluctuate and form itself into the life of Charlotte. Life is so short. All we have is our relationships.

The deep spiritual relationships – where you recognize each other as you are, beyond the person – are priceless, divine in nature, beyond time and space. These relationships are always nurturing and loving.

The psychological relationships – where the personal afflictions are at play – show you your wounds and offer ways to go beyond, if you are open to it. These relationships can be both loving and destructive.

I live day by day, breath by breath. Life is freakishly real in one way and the most incredible illusion in another. It’s God and I. I don’t question God. I try not to bargain with God. I try not to judge but I forgive myself if I do. Life is. There is so much IS-ness about life that it’s hard to tell that it’s all you.

The new phase I was talking about a couple of weeks ago turns out to be a sharper turn than I thought.  My Daily Bread is taking a break. Perhaps for ever. I don’t know. On June 1st this page will be invisible.

Unexpectedly, my path is turning me away from what is commonly called spirituality and turning me to an even simpler point of being than I ever had imagined.You could say it's taking me beyond spirituality, closer to what IS.

All I am is now. There is no distant goal to reach anymore. There is nothing to achieve, no lack to fill. I realized I already have everything I want.

I don’t have to appear a certain way. I have nothing to fulfill, nothing to protect and nothing to hide. I don’t have to pretend to be something I’m not or to hide something I really am. All I have to do is be.

I don’t have to wear certain clothes. I don’t have to do certain things to fit in. I don’t have to prove my worth. I don’t have to explain myself. All of a sudden I realize how perfectly I fit into this world! This is my space!

I don’t try to be perfect. I don’t try to be special. I don’t try to be better than anybody else, or worse than anybody else. I don’t subscribe to any lifestyles. I don’t hold on to any concepts or beliefs. I don’t have to follow any self-imposed rules. I only try to be, to see, to feel

I don’t crave much. But whatever I crave is not a problem. 
I don’t desire much. But whatever I desire is not a problem.

I live. I breathe. I love. I do my duties and then whatever I’m inspired to.

Thank you for being with me this time. You can still contact me through this site. I will be available for questions and comments. If you wish I can add you to my e-mail list and you will receive information about any other changes that may happen to my blog.

Thank you for reading! I'm so grateful for all your likes and comments. And for your silence, too. Happy travel!

With love, Charlotte