I’ve collected and created some jokes (including a horribly failed one!) about yogis and non-duality. Warm up your smiling muscles, prepare to laugh!
A holy man was sitting in the middle of the street, meditating. A taxi driver slams on the breaks and yells out to the man:
Have you lost your mind!?
The holy man replies:
What did the yogi tell the vacuum cleaner salesperson?
"I don’t want this one. It comes with too many attachments."
Why couldn’t the yogi vacuum in the corners?
Because he didn’t have any attachments.
Are Buddhists monks allowed to send emails?
Yes, but they cannot send emails with attachments.
Oh, no! My karma ran over your dogma....
A Zen master received a gift for her birthday.
She opened the big gift box. It was empty.
“Nothing!” she exclamied, “just what I always wanted.”
A moment later a young nun knocked on her door:
I think I will make this one into a sign and put on my wall:
Procrastinate now! Don’t wait until tomorrow.
A yogi orders a pizza at the local pizza place:
"Make me one with everything."
Watch how terribly wrong it can go when you try to tell that joke to the Dalai Lama!
When the yogi got the pizza, he paid with a $20 bill.
The proprietor pocketed the bill.
Yogi: "I need some change."
The proprietor: "All change comes from within.”
I’ll sum up with another Osho quote:
“Nobody lives, nobody dies. Nothingness lives, nothingness dies. You are not. Have a good laugh at this situation. You are not and you exist. You are not and you are. This is the cosmic joke.”
So here’s to all the masters out there:
How many non-dualist masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One to screw it in.
One to not screw it in.
One to both screw it in and not screw it in.
One to neither screw it in nor not screw it in.
Hey, that’s a lot of screwing around.
Have a happy day!