Some of the most painful experiences in life often seem to be caused by “other people.” Simply put, others don’t do what we want them to do.

How annoying!

They don’t like us enough, they don’t say the right things, they have the wrong opinions, interest, wishes, they act selfishly, recklessly or they don’t act at all… The list goes on.

Sometimes they have really and seriously hurt us. That’s a tough one.

We already know that we can’t change others. As much as we want it, we can’t. But that doesn’t stop us from trying. Make a quick ­–and honest– estimate of how much effort you have wasted in trying to change, convince or even force others into doing, being, saying, thinking etc what you want them to. (I know, we’d rather not be reminded.)

Now make a quick estimate of how many people have tried to make you change into something they wanted you to be. Did they succeed?

So there we are with the sadness, anger, worry, frustration that others seem to be so good at creating in us. I don’t know of any area that creates so much emotion as “others”.

Feelings are emotional reactions to a situation. We have the reactions we have because of how we are conditioned. (By culture, time period, society, parents, education, inclinations, peers etc).

If you were to peel away all conditioning, what would be left? What feelings would you have?

You can find out by paying attention to what you feel and when. You won’t learn anything by refusing certain feelings, by blaming others, by complaining about them or hating them­­­­ – as tempting as it may be…

A more fruitful approach would be gratefulness. But that’s for the advanced class.

So when a feeling like sadness knocks on your door, what do you do? You feel it! When anger knocks on your door? You feel it! Hate, fear, worry? You FEEL it, without judging yourself or others, without blaming. Just feel the feeling.

Your feelings are showing you something and it isn’t what seems obvious. It isn’t, for example, showing you that others are wrong and you are right or vice versa. 

You don’t even need to find a cause for your feelings, you just need to feel them, and not hold on to them. Don’t make them stay. Don’t make them go away. Invite them all. Accept the gift but don’t hold on to it.

Your feelings are perfect. You couldn’t have any other feelings than the ones you have in any given moment. By feeling your feelings and embracing them you learn about yourself and others.

By blaming others and making them the problem you only get stuck in an endless spiral of who’s right and who’s wrong. Don’t give others power over your emotions. That’s giving up your freedom. You are perfect the way you are. You are your own.

One love, many disguises.

If there is one thing that is important on a spiritual journey, or any life journey for that matter, it’s honesty.

Honesty starts and ends with you. It’s not as easy as it sounds because our notion of honesty is often tainted with how things “should” be. We have faithfully learned the lesson of what we are supposed to want and feel and think by people in our proximity.

We have faithfully accepted it and are even opposed to others who don’t want and feel and think the same. Since we in our camp are right, those in other camps must clearly be wrong.

This goes on and on and on. There can’t be an end to it. But you can choose to not engage in that ancient eternal battle.

So let’s leave right and wrong out and take the first trembling steps towards honesty.

What is it that I want? What feels good to me? Why do I want it and why does it feel good?

Sometimes our motives are not so noble. That’s okay. We’re humans. In admitting our less noble traits we’re closer to honesty and therefore closer to ourselves, what we truly are. It’s not always easy to do because we desperately want to be and seem so good, useful, smart, lovable, interesting etc, etc. Bless our hearts!

When we are what we truly and honestly are we can be of enormous benefit to other people, just by being.

Each one of us has our own unique life path, valuable and important. You can’t compare one with another. Each is part of a most intricate weave of grace and purpose. We don’t have to understand exactly how it works.

If you keep looking at yourself, you’ll keep discovering, keep becoming, keep evolving. Read more on how to do it in my previous blog post Entertain your addictions.

There’s no finishing line, there’s only freedom, love and all you ever came here wanting.

If someone asked me to sum up my yoga teaching and programs, I would say: Pay attention to your thoughts, feelings and reactions.

That’s all. Just pay attention.

Attention brings light on what you normally are not aware of. Thoughts, feelings and reactions arise quickly and they are so close to us that it’s easy to believe they equal what we are.

But if you start paying attention, day after day, you will soon discover that they are not really yours. You were taught to have them. You inherited them from past generations. By being with others who have the same thoughts, feelings and reactions we seek security and acceptance.

Attention doesn’t come natural in the beginning. For some reason we shun it, maybe because we’re afraid of what we’ll find. It’s this fear that makes us avoid quiet moments, distract ourselves with meaningless activities and numb ourselves with our favorite addictions.

Everything to not see, feel or listen to what we truly are.

It’s a paradox. We are afraid of what would make us feel the most secure and accepted and instead hold on to what in the long run is nothing but emptiness and destruction.

I’m not saying that you’re bad for distracting or numbing yourself. I’m sure you don’t need criticism. We all do the best we can.

I’m saying: Go ahead, distract yourself, numb yourself, entertain your addictions – but do it with full awareness. Know what you are doing. Feel what you are doing. Hear what you are doing. Without judgment. With love.

Notice what happens. It might surprise you.

The official launch of my program is getting closer!

READY is an online course, a 15 week (or more) exploration of Self-awareness and creative energy. I have completed all the material and had a test group try it out. Great experience! I had such a wonderful group of testers. Thanks to all of you!

I had yoga students, a psycho therapist, a psychologist, a psychiatrist and some very advanced spiritual people try it out. I feel so lucky! What privilege to have a group like that provide me with their feedback.

I got a lot of valuable input and made some adjustments. I now feel quite confident in saying that it works. READY really works.

READY adapts to you, where you are. It adapts to your life circumstances. As simple as that. READY grew out of my own experience of inner evolution and out of my yoga teaching.

As a yoga teacher I want to give people space to meet themselves, to be who they are and accept every aspect of themselves. I noticed that there are many people who feel there is something wrong with them and that very few people take time, or don’t know how, to listen inside. I was once one of them.

The aim with my yoga teaching has always been to make people know, from the bottom of their hearts, that there is absolutely nothing wrong with them.

READY is also a tool for that.

There are so many shoulds, musts and wants that it’s easy to believe that something is wrong if you don’t achieve it all. Outer demands make it hard to hear the inner voice. It’s easy to get lost in the idea of perfection.

Forget the shoulds. Forget perfection. What do you really want? Who are you in the deepest sense?

Just be you without all the outer additions that burden you. Just be. READY helps to sort out what is really you and what belongs to the past, to others or to society. It frees you to be you.

Everything and everyone is connected. When you are in tune, grounded, connected with who you really are you are of the greatest help to those around you. Your thoughts and actions are filled with love and wisdom sprouts naturally.

It’s in plain being that inner growth takes place. It’s in plain being that seeds grow from dreams to facts. Inner peace is available at all times. It’s always waiting for you.

You get endless chances.

You are always loved. Always.

Even though my path wasn’t straight, I stayed on it. Unlike many seekers I stuck to one path all the time. I didn’t try a little bit of this and that. Through doubt and skepticism I dug in one place and in one place only. It paid off. But one thing that Nisargadatta Maharaj couldn’t teach me, and which I craved the most, was how to make my everyday life work.

How can I manage home, kids, husband and work without compromising my dreams? How can I achieve all I want to be and do? How can I learn to accept myself and others? How can I live with the challenges life presents each day?

It’s not that he doesn’t say anything about it. He does. But where I was then I couldn’t hear it. Now I see that he talks about it even if he doesn’t focus on it.  I understand why. I have the deepest respect for that.

But I also respect the fact that there are so many of us who can’t apply what the old masters teach. It’s simply beyond our horizon, and too far from our lives and what we think we are and should be.

My programs are for everyone who wants to transform their life and for everyone who has been searching for a long time but hasn’t found “it”. I want my programs to be a bridge that takes you to happiness through understanding and peace and then on to higher consciousness, if you want.

How do we get there from here? It’s not hard. But as with anything it takes practice and as you may know, the simple can be challenging. Sometimes it’s also mistrusted. Dare to trust the simple!

I offer a method that you can live and grow with. It adapts to where you are. That is why it’s perfect for beginners, intermediates but also for advanced spiritual seekers. That is why it is perfect for someone who just wants to be happy as well as for someone who wants to go deeper and higher into freedom and awareness.

You can get off wherever you want or continue to delve deeper into the mystery of life.

If you want to be happy, then that is where you get off. If you want peace or understanding then that is where you get off. The advanced spiritual seeker gets off when the search has ended and been transformed into pure beingness and bliss, beyond words - - - -

When you begin to understand what, how and who you are there is nothing that can stop you. You are your own master! You are free! You always were.