​After a brief visit in heaven, I left and walked into hell. I had no idea this would happen. The scriptures never bothered to explain. I was blind in hell and kept walking through the fire. I knew I had to keep on walking, walking. I was completely lost but kept on walking, my eyes fixed on nothing but the walk. There was no question of belief. There was no question of doubt. There was necessisity, a burning force that wasn’t mine but acted as if it was. There was no question of giving up  because there was nothing to give up. The resilience wasn’t mine. The resolve wasn’t mine. There was trust. There was never any choice. The madness wasn’t mine. The failure wasn’t mine. The success wasn’t mine.
 
A voice kept calling me; the voice that is not a voice. Love kept calling me; the love that is more than love. The love that falls outside of every characterization, the love that goes beyond relationship, the love that is not about two, nor many, nor a lonely one. The love that doesn’t have a name, the love that never begins nor ends. Freedom kept calling me; the freedom that is more than freedom – and peace whispered my name.
 
Illusion after illusion fell like torn out pages from a book; the story of my life. I learned you don’t clean up in hell, you keep on moving even though you don’t know up from down, right from left. You keep on moving, keep on losing, because that is the only way to heaven. It goes through hell.
 
Heaven is an open invitation. I know the travel there isn’t very tempting and not many will accept. But if you are handed the invitation by that voice, by that love, by that freedom and that peace, you won’t be able to decline.
 
Important people will promise you can win. Don’t believe them. Not in this game will you ever win. This game is set up for losing, only you must know that losing isn’t what it seems and winning isn’t either.
 
I’m a hero in this story, a fallen soldier, a disoriented captain. I extend my hand, I’ll keep you company on this journey where you will be your own imperfect guide. You will learn to avoid the downfalls on your own, how to jump over the abyss, grab onto branches and find the resting place. If you decide to make the journey I’m right here where I can always see you. You are my love, my heart, my hero. Now jump! You have everything to lose and that is the point! The winning is in the losing.