I am a whisper, half a sentence. I am not complete but open. I am a punctuation, a gentle cursive. I can be anything. A questionmark. A pun. A simile. I am a linguistic experiment, a relative clause, a mispronunciation. I am a full stop after a story told, both insignificant and absolute. |
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What in me is not a story? What is the purest form of me? Do I have even a form? If so, what is the form that constitutes me? Has this form not changed my whole life? What is more me: the way I am now? Or the way I was ten years ago? Or the way I will be in ten years? What is the truth of me? Is it in my skin, my sex, my age? How can I even identify with something as abstract and changing as age? Do I allow my body to define me? Do I give any importance to how others define me? Do I need to wait for others to see me as I am before I can be what I am? Am I dependent on others to be what I truly am? No matter the circumstances, wasn’t my conception in itself absolutely free? Was I not born in freedom? When did that freedom end? Did it end? Where is it now? How is it now? Am I not free from every story, every definition? A new morning. A new day. Never seen before. Never seen again.
Spirituality is also allowing everything to be as it is, to place no demands on reality in any way. It is fallling into bottomless peace and beauty. It is being loved totally, perfectly, as you are.
It is loving others totally, perfectly, as they are. It is total forgivness, for you and everybody else. It is a love that goes beyond likes and dislikes. It is coming to a complete stop. It is seeng that nothing needs to change. It is being what you are and allowing others to be what they are, even if they deny themselves. Even if they deny you. It is giving up striving. It is allowing the unavoidable. It is the deepest initmacy with yourself, the world and others. It is complete fearlessness. It is a complete coming out of hiding because every part of you is bathing in the most lovely light. Spirituality is not a lifestyle or a concept. Spirituality isn’t synonymous with religion, prayer, belief, certain actions, looks or habits.
It is the most naked spot of you. Your most vulnerable and least desired spot. The spot you do anything to avoid. It’s the rawest possible emotion, what you think you can’t survive. The simplest place of all. By having the courage to go there, paradoxically, you will also meet bliss and joy. But you don’t go there to get anything, you go there to find the truth of what you are. You won’t go there without a burning desire that nothing but death can take away. This desire is not within your control. It may appear or not. If you go into spirituality to get or avoid anything – anything - it is not spirituality. It is wordly. Spirituality is the process of removing everything that is possible to remove. It is not adding anything. Spirituality is having no answers, only an unshakeable desire to be nothing, do nothing, except what you deepest are. It is the association with a truth that knocks out everything you thought you knew. It is humbling, refreshing, intimidating and deeply blissful. The truth is not hidden but because we love mysteries we say it is. All the beautiful messages of all the religions and sages around the world have changed nothing. It hasn’t made the world a better place. We still kill and hate one another. For thousands of years nothing has changed.
That is because thruth is nothing that you can read about and learn in the same way that you learn the ABC:s. Truth is something you find inside, even though there is evidence of it outside. Truth is something that has to be discovered by each and everyone, individually. If they want to. That is why truth can be open in plain sight and still nothing changes. That is why truth can be told and not seen. Truth goes beyond belief. Truth goes beyond what you think you are. Most people are not ready to give up what they believe is true in order to find actual truth. But that is what is needed. The complete giving up of all beliefs. How else would you be able to make room for truth? “Love is all you need” may be true but as soon as we start asking “how do I get love?” all is lost. Not even to ask “how do I give love?” is quite good enough. Because your idea of love is a belief and it may not tally with someone else’s beliefs and perceived needs. And what will you do if your love is rejected? If nobody is happier because of the love you give? A better question to ask would be, what is love? Or better yet, what is true? What do I know for certain? What do I actually know that can never be denied in any circumstance? And be prepared to go wherever that question takes you. That is the direction in which you will find truth, and love, and freedom. If you look hard enough, if you are willing to give up everythng. And I mean everything. And I mean willing. But how many of us are really willing? How many of us even have that interest? And so the truth will continue to be in plain sight and continued to be denied. And the world will go on as always. This is no problem, really. The interest can not be manufactured. Either it’s there or it’s not. You will know if it’s there for you. The fire inside is a sign, the continuous looking. The trick is to not look for what you believe about truth, but for truth itself. Truth is not an object. Truth is not an acquisition. In a sense you are not the one discovering truth but truth is discovering you. You may not even know why you want it. But in the end you will discover that truth makes everything intensely interesting and vividly alive. This is a love that never dies. This is a love that was never born. This is a love that sees. This is a love that is free. This is a love that has no need to know. This is a love that will neither expand nor diminish. This is a love that is. This is a love that never desires. This is a love that asks for nothing. This is a love that reaches the darkest places. This is a love that stops for nothing. This is a love from which nothing can hide. This is a love that is silent. This is a love that moves through rock. This is a love that warms what was frozen. This is. That love.
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AuthorCharlotte Brady about love, life, God, poetry, writing and abiding in the heart at every moment. This is where flesh is spirit and spirit flesh in raw unadulterated devotion. Life is worship! Categories
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July 2017
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